Psychology experts will tell you that, if youre not running to something, then youre running from something. Well, that seems rather obvious. It might require a college degree at the Bachelors level to think through it, but it doesnt require a Masters or PhD in order to comprehend alternative ends of the spectrum. That said, I keep coming across articles that say, If youre not running to something, youre just running away from yourself. Perhaps the writers of those articles have been running away from themselves. I can also think of several non-writer individuals, who might fit the category. However, the rest of us may well have different motivations for leaving any particular set of circumstances. Here are seven reasons why people are not running from themselves, and you can probably think of more. -- They are running away from misguided political, religious, or cult persecution, or from abuse by others in their circle, either relatives or friends, as such other people often presume themselves to be.--They are running away from caretaker situations that have become overwhelming because there is little or no respite care. No one wants to put down their own burdens for a few hours or a few days or a few weeks, to help out. --They are running away from massive debts run up by a spouse, which they do not have the resources to pay off. Nor should a spouse be saddled with that kind of burden in our society. --They are running away from recently diagnosed illness, for which treatments and prognosis present only limited possibilities, and perhaps much suffering, before success can be expected. They are not cowards. --They are running away from once-charming children who have become obnoxious. Children do not come to us as a blank slate; they are born with their own strong personalities, which we can only prune and train. As they grow, they will still behave as they wish, just as we generally do, as adults. --They are running away from a career of great promise that has turned sour, even vicious. The money just isnt worth it any more, or the work environment is far too hostile. It is a case of leave or keel over. --Finally, they are running away from responsibility that really is theirs, abandoning wife and children, because taking care of them means growing up and joining the real world. For whatever reason, including machismo, or illegal drugs, their minds have convinced them they dont have to accept responsibility for children they have co-created. In conclusion, rarely are people running away from themselves, even when they have nothing to run to. They are running from terror, more often than not. And it behooves all of us to recognize that, and be less critical of those who break and run. In the seventh example, of course, those who abandon wives and children will pay a heavy price in the years to come, if they cannot pick up the pieces before it is too late to repair the damage. 2006 Shirley Ann Parker |
