Every now and then youll run into folks in business, whether theyre employers, vendors, customers, colleagues, or contractors, who just tick you off.

I dont mean youll come across one every two or three years. I mean youll encounter a statistical stack of them, theyll pile on you all at once, and youll wonder why.

Is it me? youll wonder, if youre a liberal sort, who doesnt mind a little introspection and self-criticism.

Am I doing something differently? you might inquire, only to reply, No, Im more or less the same.

So, why now; and why you?

I agree with some Zen practitioners who say we run into people who push us to our edge because thats where the lessons come from.

They dont happen when were in a cozy cocoon.

Exploring our discomfort can tell us a lot about who we are, and specifically, what were resisting.

For example, I was finishing my Ph.D. at one school, and teaching at another, where I had spent four years on the part-time faculty. A top-rated professor, I assumed I would be offered a permanent, full-time position or at worst, I would keep my temporary assignment.

But the chair of the department told me he was kicking me out of the nest. It was time I made my way in the world, and so I did just that, securing the best job in the country at the time, with the help of his positive recommendation.

Although it wasn't clear to me at the time, I had reached my limit, my edge as a conventional teacher, and I needed to confirm this by moving up as far as I could go. By reaching a higher perch, I could see farther, and appreciate how far I had come, and how far I still needed to go.

I needed to upgrade, to be challenged and respond, and feel satisfied with my college teaching career by securing a tenure-track position, before I could make the leap into consulting.

The flack that youre getting from people in business or anywhere is telling you something that you just won't understand if you stay cozy, where you are.

So, appreciate the message beneath the discomfort and spread your wings!