We talk of physical abuse. We also talk of emotional abuse. Let us now talk about self-abuse. What is self-abuse? Normally when we talk of any abuse, an outside agent is involved. In self-abuse, we hurt our self. We don't need any outside agency. Our own thoughts, our self-guilt and our self-beating do this for us. Why do we do this - Some of this has to do with child hood and some with our failures in or adult life. Once we meet with few failures, we brand ourselves as a failed person. I know of a person, who not only called herself a failed person but also believed that whatever she associated with would meet with failures. This is a complex phenomenon that involves total loss of confidence and loss of self worth. What should be done - To stop self-abuse, one has to act slowly. One may also need outside support. The confidence that got chipped away slowly has to be brought back slowly. This cannot be done quickly. Small failures led to loss of self-confidence. Small successes will lead to rebuilding the confidence. With slow building of confidence, we must get rid of our guilt. We have to forgive ourselves. We have to show compassion to ourselves. It is like this - If we find a hurt person, we handle him/her softly and are very compassionate. We have to do that with ourselves. We all are very precious. We are most precious for ourselves. Like a precious possession with us, we have to protect our dignity and confidence. We have to show the same care. That is compassion for our self. |
