Mature men and women who are dating have many questions about money and issues related to money management. The most frequent question I am asked by men is how to avoid always picking up the tab. There are four easy steps to learn and follow: Step 1: First determine the occasions that you can imagine choosing to "pick up the tab": you invite a friend to dinner to celebrate his birthday; you take a friend or family member to lunch as a way to say thank you for checking on your house when you were away. Step 2: Recognize that it is important to address this issue at the time you ask someone for the date, not when you are sitting in a restaurant or standing in line for movie tickets. Step 3: Develop phrases that sound like you and accurately convey what you mean to say. Examples: "This is a bit awkward for me to say but, I prefer if we each pay for ourselves. How does that sound to you?" or "I am more comfortable if we each pay for ourselves. Is that all right with you?" Step 4: It is perfectly acceptable to say that something is too expensive for you at this time or to suggest an alternative that is more in your price range. When it comes to money, honesty and a forthright attitude is the best policy. It is essential to become willing and able to discuss money and finances whenever you decide it is in your best interest to do so! Money is on everybodys mind anyway. Believe it or not, most people will be relieved and appreciative. If you run into the occasional person who is affronted or insulted, please, oh please let it be about them. Do not take that on as being about you. This is a skill that you can learn. You can become fluent and comfortable talking about money. Experiment with this a few times and let me know how it is going. Remember, only YOU can make it happen! Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005 If you like this article, please read more about Dr. Jackies relationship dating advice and help for issues and problems. This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name, web site, email address and telephone number. |
