Ignorance is the most common trap you will face when getting divorced. To get through your divorce with the most peace of mind, while spending the least amount of money, you need to know all the facts and have all relevant documents in order.

• It's tempting to ignore financial details, but if you don't take the trouble to understand what's going on in your financial life and what you're entitled to, you might as well hang a big "victim" sign around your neck.

• Ignorance makes you feel helpless and makes it easy for you to be manipulated into accepting a bad deal.

• The worst thing you can do is go to a lawyer without any information or preparation and ask for a divorce. You'll waste a lot of time and money, and you won't receive the respect given an informed client.

• Keep business and emotional issues separate.

• Don't jump to sudden conclusions or make impulsive agreements.

• Don't sign anything you haven't thought about or don't understand.

• Control impulsive and compulsive spending the same way you would control neurotic eating habits.

• Do all you can to keep yourself open, centered and strong.

• Deal with your emotional issues instead of reacting and running from them.

• This is OK if you do it without cheating--it can give you a sense of security, independence and control.

• Be on the lookout for cheating, where your spouse may be secretly diverting marital assets into a separate account. You may need an attorney to protect the marital estate and your interest in it.

• When a divorce is coming, watch where income goes and keep a close eye on account withdrawals. Take a close look at financial transactions during the previous year.

Ed Sherman

Ed Sherman founded Nolo Press in 1971 to make the law more accessible to the public. He started the do-it-yourself law revolution when he published the first editon of "How to Do Your Own Divorce in California," and soon thereafter started the paralegal industry. With over a million books sold, Sherman has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees, while at the same time helping his readers experience smoother, faster, less stressful divorces. In his latest book, "The Couples Contract for a Lasting Relationship," Sherman took 35 years of acquired wisdom and techniques developed to help millions of people get better divorces, and applied these same principles to help any couple build a strong foundation for an enduring relationship. The definitive expert on divorce and relationship agreements, Sherman is a popular radio and TV show guest.