Do you face the holiday season without a romantic relationship in your life? Holidays mean gift giving and if you are single, this can have its own special impact when you are alone. It might feel like you have everyone to buy presents for but there is no one special who is going to be paying loving attention to you. Perhaps it is time to map out a strategy that takes good care of you and keeps your spirits up.

First, get out your list making tools and write down all the people you want to send cards to, get a gift for, spend some time with, or call. Following that, to insure a rich and comforting holiday season, try the following:

*Put yourself at the top of your list.

Being single, it is highly likely that no one is going to take care of you through these upcoming holidays but you. Holiday love starts with loving yourself. The better you feel, the more attractive you are and the more you have to give to others. It also becomes more possible to attract someone when you are in a positive mood.

This is a good time to get something special for you. Think about it. If you had a romantic partner, you would be getting him or her a present. If you are single and not dating anyone in particular, spend that time, energy, and money on yourself. That gift might be something you have noticed and wanted but didn't buy for one reason or another. If there is something you want, and it won't put you in debt, now is the time to get it. Wait for the holiday moment to open it or use it or bring it out. Put a card on it that says, "Happy Holidays...and you deserve it!"

*Give meaningful gifts to others.

There are other gifts that you can give yourself that bring an enormous return. That is the gift of giving to others who are suffering from poverty, illness, catastrophe, or age-related problems. Call your local homeless shelter, nuring home, crisis center, or hospital, and ask what you can do. If you volunteer your services, you will definitely be smiling inside all year when you think of the people you helped. Go see the facility where you will be working before the holidays so you know the staff, the needs, and the drill that is expected of you.

* Take time to receive the messages and thoughtfulness that does come your way at this time of year.

This is the time of year when people are often more generous of spirit. When people take the time to acknowledge you or wish you a happy holiday, let that message in. We are so busy, we often let it bounce off of us without absorbing it. When you receive your holiday cards, take time to read them through. Sit still long enough to feel the words and greetings. Now, more than ever, we need to stop and let all the good intentions and sentiments that accompany this time of year into our consciousness.

Holidays can be a perfect time to be single: to take better care of yourself, meet new people, and share new experiences. Who knows? You might even meet someone you want to know better in the New Year.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation