My Third Interview with Jose Caliente by John T. Jones, Ph.D. Jose Caliente and I met again at the Restaurante Mexicana per usual. I said, "Jose, I think that desperation, confusion, and moronitis have sunk the efficiency of the Congress of the United States of America. The Great Seal of the United States of America creaks whenever a congressman or congress woman walks on it." Jose said, "There is no such word as moronitis." I said, "There is jaundice, hepatitis, and now moronitis." He said, "I know what it means but there is no such word. You can't catch stupidity." I said, "That's another thing they've got in the Congress, stupiditis." Jose said, "If you were up culturally, you would not use such words, let alone invent them." I said, "Jose I've added your new word and my new word to my computer spell-checker dictionary. What I've done, I've done. I'm not much for being socially correct. A lot of the old words that were direct and not confusing have been almost eliminated by the Socially Impaired." Jose said, "Why don't we go into the restaurant. Maybe you'll cool down." I said, "That's what the Congress needs to do, COOL DOWN!" He said, "Let's eat!" After Jose finished a few beers and his tamales I asked, "How's your new job cleaning the Oval Office?" "Lost it!" I was devastated! My dreams were gone of President Bush accidentally dropping a secret note on the floor or leavening a CIA report on his desk for Jose to pick up and give to me so that I could tell the American people WHAT IS GOING ON! Jose said, "There was a note left on the President's desk the last night before I got bumped by Mohammad Hussein." I said, "You got bumped by a Moslem? A Moslem works in the White House?" Jose said, "Sure! He was hired the day before I was and wanted my job so he bumped me. I clean Vice President Cheney's office now. Same shift." I said, "Wasn't the President worried about this?" "About what?" "About a Moslem cleaning up his office?" Jose said, "What could he say? The press secretary said that he he looked okay to him." I gave up. I said, "What about the note?" Jose handed me the note and this is what it said: "Daddy, stop taking your self so seriously! "Stop sleeping in that Commander-in-Chief jacket the military gave you! It gives mama the creeps! "Stop playing Hail to the Chief over and over again through your Samsung PO0105 headset when on the treadmill! "You've got to let up, Daddy, OR--You'll go crazy!" I said to Jose, "I'm glad the President is at least getting some family support! What about the Congress, Jose? Those knot heads are misusing government! Don't they have an obligation to do what is right for the country?" Jose said, "You expect too much from the Congress. There is no humility over there so there can be no compromise. You were just hit with that Rx drug plan. You know that they are not only incompetent but that they hate you." I said, "You found my website and you've been reading my articles, haven't you?" Jose said, "I though you would be interested in the discarded memo that I found in Cheney's office last night. It was next to the shredder. You catch the check and I'll get it out of my shoe." I said, "Now, we are getting somewhere!" In the street Jose gave me the memo. He said, "Don't read it now, IDIOT! Wait until you are in your car." I was again ecstatic! A discarded memo that was found in Cheney's office! It could be about the war. It could be about the failure of the President's Social Security plan. It could be about the torture chamber in the White House basement that the President doesn't know about. It could be" I jumped into my car and read the note. This is what it said: Gotcha! The End copyrightJohn T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005 |
